My grocery list most certainly did not contain the phrase "peregrine falcon" in between the tortillas and the almond milk.
As tempting as it was to buckle him into the passenger seat and call him Fred on the way home, I bagged him and stuck him in the trunk instead. Just as well, because he might've tried to control the radio. Now he has a prominent spot in the garden where his job is to scare away rabbits and groundhogs.
Readers, have you had any impulse buys at the grocery store lately?